United Souls of America for Sai - Commemorative Volume Celebration 85 years of the Divine Advent

Excerpts shared for educational and spiritual purposes with reverence to the author. This is a non-profit project dedicated to selfless service.

Jeanette la Bastide is a long-time ardent devotee of Bhagawan who tirelessly works to assist terminally ill hospice patients. She lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA.

Remember with Gratitude

by Jeanette la Bastide

My Dearest and most Beloved Father God,

Remember Lord, the early years of the 1990s when You had a special plan for me? An atheist I was not, for I had unshakable faith in Jesus. Remember Lord, that You took away my darling husband and You left me with no work, no steady income, no food, no friends? My faith in Jesus became even stronger as He provided for me. Remember Lord, that although I have deep faith in Jesus, I was still to get over my loneliness, and I was hoping to be married again? I was then still in ignorance that real happiness is not to be found on earth. Remember Lord, that someone gave me three addresses of Sai Baba Centers in the U.S.A., and after I wrote for information, all three letters were returned to me, bearing the message: "No such address," "Return to Sender", "No such name? What a fool I was to believe in a God-person; although I held on to my faith that Jesus was one Himself.

Remember Lord, how I accused this man, Sai Baba, to be a cult leader, and how I wanted to have nothing to do with cults? So, I buried myself in doing work as a volunteer 24/7. Remember Lord, that I joined the Edgar Cayce Study group, "In Search of God"? And, how I frequented, on a daily basis, the "Half-Price Bookstore" hoping in both cases to find a way to reach God? But these left me only with great dissatisfaction and frustration. My search for God remained unfulfilled. Remember Lord, the one worn copy of the book, "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda sitting on the shelf in the bookstore inviting me to buy it? The Yogi's eyes on the picture were piercing my eyes, but I thought of Him as another cult leader. For weeks, the book sat on the shelf- one day, it even fell in front of my legs. Yet I did not buy it.

Remember Lord, that from this moment on You took matters in Your hands? Using a person, unknown to me, as Your instrument, I received from her a brand-new book of "Autobiography of a Yogi", out of gratefulness for the service I rendered to her dying aunt.

Remember Lord, how I hurried back to the bookstore, only to find the old copy missing from the shelf? Remember Lord, that after this incident, I became a member of the "Self-Realization Fellowship Society" and I followed Paramahansa's spiritual studies for a few years? Through these courses, I discovered the huge emptiness in me was ¾ gone. I had finally discovered God through these lessons, but that ¼ emptiness within me felt even worse than the full emptiness I suffered from before.

Remember Lord, what pain this ¼ left-over emptiness has caused, that I preferred to die over staying alive without God realisation? I prayed and cried with tears rolling down my cheeks for Jesus and Paramahansa to lead me to God - this God man Sai Baba others have proclaimed Him to be.

Remember Lord, the letter I wrote to You, wet with my tears, that I sent to India? This time the letter was not returned. You took pity on me, and it was You who arranged for my seeing You in India. It was one miracle after the other I received, coupled with Your Leelas full of obstacles that You laid in my path. For example, remember Lord, I developed "ulcerative" pains because of the fear that my work and expenses were a lost cause? And how on the day before my departure, my passport finally could be picked up from the Indian Consulate in Chicago, but that day happened to be the worst winter in history? And that we received a parking ticket after I obtained my passport and visa? Remember Lord, that You gave me front-row-seats andshowered me with Your Blessings and Your Love. And all I could utter in my heart were the words: "Father God, I don't want Your miracles, and I don't want Your interviews. Just purify my heart, Lord." You have done that and more. You have made me WHOLE!! My search for God is finally over. I now enjoy God within my Self - my Atma, to whom I have given theName and the Form of my Beloved Father God, who has manifested Himself in Human Form and whose Name is Truth. I love You, my Lord, my Love, my Life, my Friend.

Your loving daughter,

Jeanette la Bastide