Jurney to God – The Malaysian Experience with Sai Baba

Excerpts shared for educational and spiritual purposes with reverence to the author. This is a non-profit project dedicated to selfless service.

by J. Jagathesan

DRUGS  (page 94)

THE DEVI L'S SPAWN

One of the most vicious social evils of today is drug addiction, and governments all over the world are trying to combat this growing evil with varying degrees of success and more often than not, failure. Often re-habilitation centers are pathetically inadequate to take in and treat the growing number of youths who after being caught in the vice-like hold of drug-addiction, try to reach out for help. All of them, those trying to find a way out, those who are caught in its deathlike hold and those who in future will succumb first to its temptation and pleasure and subsequently to its pain, have in the final analysis to fight within themselves, to free the clutching hold of the "devil's spawn."

It was about three weeks before I was planning to leave for India to pay homage to Baba, after several postponements, that I came across these fascinating accounts of drug addicts and Baba's grace. I thank Baba for delaying the trip for at least now those who read these accounts, and those who need help can try to find the same salvation found by these individuals whose accounts follow.

Mr. S. Zakrhiyas (as told by Zakrhiyas)

A very athletic, good-looking gentleman, this man with the unusual name of Zakrhiyas. He lives in Klang and I had met him and known him as a very active member of the Sathya Sai Baba Seva Dal (Service Group) in Klang. He appeared to be a very quiet and polite person, his total personality belying the extraordinary story of his past contact with drug addiction.

Zakrhiyas is a 29-year-old Roman Catholic and works as a stevedore at Port Klang. He told me his story on the 27th of March 1977 when the combined Sai Baba Service Group of Kuala Lumpur and Klang went for a day trip to Port Dickson, as part of a fund-raising effort by the Klang devotees to build a small temple/hall in Klang. The story was related to me in Tamil.

At the age of 20 Zakrhiyas (Zak for short for the rest of this account) started smoking cigarettes. It was this habit that at the age of 25 led him to take the next step to come in contact with the "devil's spawn."

For Zak it started innocently enough in 1973, when "friends" offered_ him free "$1/= cigarettes" to try. These "$1/="cigarettes as they were then called (inflation may have raised the price since then), are cigarettes "spiked" with heroin.

Zak found this new cigarette stimulating and after all it was free ...... so why not? For 10 days he was given free cigarettes and then the pipeline ran dry ...... by then it was too late for Zak.

He started to purchase the occasional $1/= cigarette enjoying the new thrill and experience and by the end of one month, he realized that he was hooked ...... well and truly!

The initial pleasure gave way to pain. Without the heroin Zak began to suffer deep, stabbing pains within his body "right into his bone marrow" as he described it. By now Zak found that he had to have at least one or two puffs of the heroin cigarettes, merely to negate the pain and discomfort.

Often because of lack of finance or lack of ready supply when he needed it badly, he would find himself .in a state of painful agitation. The stabbing pains would grow within him and in uncontrollable desperation he would punch at walls, steel bars, etc. and feel no pain though his knuckles would be badly bruised and bleeding ...... apparently Zak was often experiencing the beginnings of the treatment called "cold turkey[1]."

As the craving born out of pain increased, Zak's intake of the "cigarettes" also increased. The "puffs" became the center of his being; the needs of his wife and two children became subsidiary. His family began to worry; his mother and brothers would plead, threaten and advise, but to the pain-filled mind of Zak, all these were of little consequence. His daily life became merely intervals between the pain-relieving drags of heroin-spiked cigarettes.

With dwindling finances to support an increasing habit, Zak began to pawn his wife's jewelry, his watch and even his bicycle, which he would recover at the end of the month when his salary came in. As things got worse, he began losing his appetite and his once athletic frame began to shrivel from a 160 lbs to about 115 lbs.

Zak, became aware of his plight, and the grief he was causing his loved ones. His athletic activities stopped and unshaven and with unkept hair he became a shadow of the man he had been. He wanted to stop, but he could not; the bone twisting pain would drive him to the heroin relief.

In desperation he sought medical help and for about four months from December 1974 was under the treatment of a medical practitioner in Port Klang. The good doctor treated Zak in every way he knew how, but to no avail ...... Zak could not kick the habit. All but the doctor gave up on Zak and warned him that he would lose his job soon if he did not stop the habit.

Thus was the state of affairs for Zak, a man heading towards self-destruction, until a fateful day in July 1975. On the 18th of July Zak and his stevedoring colleagues were resting on board a ship in Port Klang in between their unloading activities. By this time Zak, had become a very lonely, brooding man, and his friends would generally avoid him. The time was about 7 p.m. (Zak was on a 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift) and already the growing pain was beginning to make itself noticed; he had no heroin on him and he wondered in desperation as to how he was going to last the rest of the shift.

During this particular break a friend was reading a Tamil newspaper to other stevedores, where there was an article about Sai Baba.

He was reading aloud the account of Saba's miracles and that He was said to be an incarnation like, Rama, Krishna, and Christ. Intrigued by what little he could overhear Zak moved to a position behind his friend with the newspaper. At that time the break ended and Zak borrowed the paper to read more about this miracle man.

However, the rising pain within him made it impossible for him to concentrate on the words. He thus merely stared at the picture and asked in desperation - a man reaching out for a savior - "If it is true that You are helping others why not help me?" As he· stared at the picture a strange sensation began to rise within him and he felt the hair on his arms stand on end. Strangely, he felt the desire to have a puff that had been building up, slowly begin to recede, together with a reduction in pain. He found that he was able to continue his work without a puff and finish the shift.

An urge within him prompted him to tear out the picture of Baba from the newspaper to take home. After work he began cycling home holding the picture rolled up in his hand. As usual he passed the shop in town where for the last few months he had been purchasing his spiked cigarettes. His normal practice was to stop there, buy a few cigarettes (as finance permitted) and head for home, where, after bath he would in his bedroom, lose himself in the illusion and sleep of a heroin filled world, until the next morning.

On the 18th of July however, for the first time in many months Zak cycled past the shop and went home forgetting the cigarettes. It should be mentioned that by this time Zak was a ten-heroin-cigarette-a-day smoker. (According to friends who know they say that for such heavy smokers, medically controlled "cold turkey" treatment was necessary for about two weeks to effect a cure. If the person was not so cured there was a strong possibility of death within five years.)

On reaching home Zak went to his bedroom (in a house he shared with his mother and brother) where he pinned the picture on the wooden wall of his bedroom, with a thumbtack. He then went for a bath. After the bath, the normal practice for the past few months had been to light his heroin cigarettes, and to smoke away into a hazy world of illusion the pain that would otherwise rake his wilting frame.

But the 18th of July was different; after his bath he entered his room, sat on his bed and stared at the picture of Baba torn from the newspaper. He asked, "Are you really god?" Then silently he sent his pathetic plea to this strange figure with the Afro-hair style who seemed to have a power he could not understand, let alone define. "Please Baba why don't You cure me as you have done for so many others?"

For about one hour he sat gazing at the picture, as though in a trance, and then fell asleep, only to wake up the next morning to see again the picture on the wall. This act of sleeping peacefully itself was a remarkable achievement for of late he would wake up several times during the night for a "drag" that would calm his nerves and kill the pain.

It had also become an uncontrollable habit for Zak, that every morning after waking up, the day would not start and could not start without a puff. Only then could he bring himself to even brush his teeth. Sometimes when out of funds and out of heroin cigarettes he would beg members of his family for money and they would refuse. Like a man possessed he would ram his fists against hard objects, rush to the house of a "friend" and fellow drug addict and take at least one long drag, before he could return to the world of the unpossessed.

On the morning of the 19th of July, a mental reflex born out of days of indulgence, told him that he should take his morning puff; however the absence of the gnawing, stabbing pain in his bones, vitiated the desire. He performed his morning ablutions his mind in constant thought about Baba and the amazing transformation he was experiencing.

As his shift only started at 3 p.m. he decided to sit at home and gaze at the picture of Baba on his bedroom wall. His mother, happy that a change seemed to be coming over her errant son, was nevertheless concerned about the picture on the wall. A staunch Roman Catholic, the thought that the son was praying to this mop haired stranger was beyond her conception and she criticized Zak strongly.

Zak himself not understanding what was happening sat in silent prayer in front of the picture of Baba. Later he went to work and returned home at night having lived his first 24 hours, in several months, without the aid of the "devil's spawn."

That night as he passed the "heroin shop" in town (according to Zak the shop had been raided several times by the police, but the sales continue secretly) the thot1ght about the cigarettes came to his mind, but as he experienced no pain, there was no imperative to purchase the drug.

Thus Zak started praying to Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba., placing his torn, un­framed, newspaper picture, beside the picture of Jesus Christ. About one month later, Zak saw some pictures of Baba being sold in a shop in Klang. He approached the man selling the pictures (someone who knew about Zak's drug addiction) and told him the amazing story of his experience. The man was so delighted that in a true Sai fashion of brotherly love, he gave Zak a free coloured picture of Baba, together with some vibuthi which friends had brought from India.

Zak lovingly framed the picture and placed it in his room with the pictures of Christ and Mary.

As the picture of Baba got itself a permanent place in his room, the family oppo­sition grew strongly. Even volunteer church workers came to the house to warn Zak about the error of his ways. However, Zak steadfastly maintained that he was not giving up Christ. He would continue to pray to Christ, but also to Baba whom he considered as his Savior.

One day his mother, in uncontrollable anger, took the framed picture of Baba and threw it into the big monsoon drain (according to Zak more than 10 feet wide) behind his house. According to Zak even a child could have thrown. the picture into the drain, however, the picture did not fall into the drain. It skimmed across the drain and fell on-the other side, on a flower bush.

Zak who arrived at the scene a few seconds later, looked at his mother in amazement and delight and said, "Mother you see, it is not easy to get rid of this picture." His mother was silent.

After that, overt opposition from his family died down. He sometimes conducts Bhajans in his house and though his wife is not a devotee she helps in the floral decorations of the prayer altar. His children (now there are three) join him in the Bhajans.

Thus is the remarkable, almost unbelievable story of Zakrhiyas now a true devotee of God and Baba. His health and strength have returned, and he now continues his sporting activities, including weight-lifting. Looking at his muscular frame, I could not believe that four years ago this man was heading for self-destruction.

Zak has now joined the Sathya Sai Baba Service Group in Klang and is dedicating himself to helping the poor and needy. He has also set himself up as a one man anti-drug addiction team. He is trying, by relating his own experience and asking them to join him in prayer, to bring other drug addicts out of the vice-like hold of the "devil's spawn."

As I gazed in silent admiration at the quiet figure, that was receding in the distance, after the bus had dropped off the Klang devotees in Klang and was heading for Kuala Lumpur, I could only say a silent prayer, "Baba please help this man in his task of helping other drug addicts." Surely for the good work that Zak is doing, he will receive in equal measure the love and grace of God.

Footnote:

On Thursday 31st March, I went to Klang to join the Klang devotees in their Bhajan and to follow-up certain aspects of Zak's story. By this time I had already written the first draft of the above story. I took the opportunity to visit Zak's house to see the picture that had been thrown by the mother and to see the drain referred to in the story.

Zak is now living in a newer, larger, wooden house with lighting provided by a gas lamp. The wall of Zak's house had many pictures depicting his Christian religion and he had also pictures of Sai Baba, and above the door of his bedroom was a picture of the feet of Baba.

Zak pointed to a large picture that was hanging on the wall across the room from the main door. As I approached the picture, I could not restrain a gasp of surprise and pleasure, for the picture was distinctly covered with vibuthi. I pointed this out to Zak who was busy digging a box for some pictures of himself during his drug addiction period (unfortunately there were no clear ones).

Zak muttered, "Yes! I thought my children may have put the vibuthi there ...... but they deny it. My wife says that I may have done it." He then came up to the picture and also gave a gasp of surprise, "Hey! There is much more than there was yesterday."

It transpired that Zak had seen traces of the vibuthi on Tuesday 29th March but had dismissed it as his children's prank. He had then forgotten about it and being very busy had not noticed it carefully since then. Now, however as he stared closely at the vibuthi covered picture, he showed us his arms which had goose pimples and hair standing on ends. I had seen the manifestations of Saba's grace before in Malaysia and India and I was convinced that it was not a childish prank. For some reason best known to Him Baba had chosen to manifest the vibuthi during this particular time. As· one of the Klang devotees present commented, "Perhaps this is Baba's way of showing that the story told by Zak is bona fide." Whatever the reason, there it was for all of us to see, - some for the first time, the vibuthi manifestation of Baba's grace.

Present at this auspicious occasion were Baba devotees, Rajasukar and Balakrishnan from Klang, and Paramanathar and Siva from Kuala Lumpur.

After this we proceeded to examine the drain referred to in the story. This drain was behind Zak's old house a few door's away from his new one. It was very dark (time about 10.00 p.m.) and with no street lighting we had to depend on the bright moonlight and a torch. The size of the drain surprised me. It was not a monsoon drain as such, but more a large drainage and rubbish ditch which is quite common in rural areas. I estimated the width to ·be about 15 feet. We questioned Zak and his wife as to how exactly the mother had thrown the picture - but both confessed to have come on the scene only seconds after the throwing had taken place. The mother had said for days that she would throw the picture into the drain, but they had not witnessed the actual act of throwing.

I informed them that it was possible for the picture to be forcefully thrown with one hand in a sideward sweeping motion, that would cause it to skim across the drain.

We then decided that we should take the proverbial "bull by the horn" so to speak and to ask the mother herself what had happened. As it was late and because the mother now lived in another house, I requested Mr. Rajasukar to undertake the rather delicate task of asking the mother. I also requested him to check with the doctor referred to in the story. Rajasukar kindly agreed to undertake these tasks, though he was very nervous about asking the mother.

I met Rajasukar again at another Bhajan in Kuala Lumpur on Saturday 2nd April arid he had this to say:

He had met Zak's mother and had asked her, "Did you throw the picture?" the mother had replied, "Yes."

"Did you throw the picture downwards with both hands or outwards with one hand?" She replied, "I threw it with one hand. I threw the picture into the rubbish dump. (in the near side of the drain)."

''Did you see where it fell?"

"No! I did not see where it fell. I just threw it, turned and walked away!"

Rajasukar then asked, "Did you know the picture fell on the other side of the drain?"

She replied, "I did not know (at that time.)"

"How did it get to the other side?" A baffled mother who apparently had not given much thought to this entire issue replied, "Probably some of the children could have thrown it across!"

Seeing that the mother was getting rather upset about the whole incident, Rajasukar decided to terminate this strange interview. Readers will have to draw their own conclusions about the entire episode (Rajasukar's name and address are given at the end of this note for further verification).

However, one thing is certain, no children threw the picture across the drain, because Zak retrieved the picture immediately after it had been thrown.

Rajasukar very kindly also fulfilled the other favor, i.e. of talking to the doctor in the story. In the original draft I had named the doctor, but he requested that his name should be kept out of it. He however agreed to Zak's addiction and gave a short signed note on his letterhead which stated as follows, "This is to state that the above (referring to Zakrhiyas) was treated by me for drug addiction for a few months beginning in December 1974."

The story has another happy ending. Zakrhiyas informs me that only last month i.e. in February 1977 he had repaid the last of his "heroin debts" and has bought back all the jewelry he had pawned when he was in the grip of the "devil's spawn." Zak to-day is indeed a happy man.

[1] "Cold turkey" is stopping a substance (like drugs, alcohol, or nicotine) abruptly and completely, without tapering or medical help, often causing severe withdrawal symptoms like chills, sweats, and seizures, making it risky for physical dependence but sometimes used for habits where danger is lower, though medical detox is usually safer and more effective for addiction.