Rare Spiritual Treasure: "Divine Games of Bala Sai" by V.R. Krishna Kumar
Excerpts shared for educational and spiritual purposes with reverence to the author. This project is a non-profit initiative, offered as a labor of love and selfless service.
Divya Dararashinam
DIVINE VISION
Due to exertion, we all slept soundly. To our
relief, father was looking gay after the much-required rest. Just like the
others there, we also went to the banks of Chitravathi for bathing, washing,
and other things, as there were no bathrooms, and toilets at the Ashram. In
those days, from the Old Mandir, there were two routes to reach Chitravathi.
There were huge trees and bushy shrubs on both sides, and it was a delight to
the heart. The power of nature was mighty. At one place, where there were so many
big tamarind trees, it looked like a mini forest. This place was so beautiful
my feet refused to move from there. Walking about half a mile further we would
tread onto a fine sand belt, as soft as a cotton bed, and then the holy river
Chitravathi. In those days there would be flowers through out the year, but
little during summer. The river was not very deep, and it was perfect for
bathing after sunrise. Anyone would be fully relaxed after a bath there. As we
were not used to bathing in the river, thus we had difficulty in the beginning
but got used to it. We became fresh and returned back to the Old Mandir.
My heart was still in anguish, unable to digest
the fact that the small boy we met on the riverside was the Guru of the Ashram!
The head of a religious institution! How could one be capable of holding this
position at such a young age? All these questions boiled in me. The main reason
for all this was that we were used to seeing only learned, elderly people with
a lot of experience in such position. Suddenly, when Bala Sai appeared, my
sister Kumaramma bowed to Him with respect, but my heart was still wondering if
He was really Sai Baba! I thought that women were ineffectual and would believe
in such things easily, but not men. At that time, I considered my sister as
mad, as it was not possible for anyone so young to become a Baba or a Guru!
Observing all this with a smile, Bala Sai disappeared.
FIRST TOUCH
The whole Mandir was very quiet. Everyone was
going about their duties and moving around peacefully. In those days, we used
to wear shorts, in the form of knickers, and half sleeved shirts. I continued
to stand there, lost in my own thoughts. Someone put a hand on my shoulder and
stood next to me. Lost in my contemplation, I did not try to look around. I was
eagerly waiting for Bala Sai to appear. Everyone was looking at me strangely.
My mother, who came there, had an enquiring look on her face. Without my
knowledge, my feelings boiled out from within. Looking at my mother, I asked
her the whereabouts of Bala Sai? She observed me even more strangely and
signalled with due respect that He was right there. I considered that my mother
was also like Kumaramma, and without an iota of doubt fully believed in Bala
Sai, very easily. Due to this turmoil inside, my condition remained to be
hopeless. Without knowing what to do, I turned around to find Bala Sai standing
right next to me. Now I realised as to why everyone was looking at me in a
strange manner. I became the most stupid one out there. The naughty smile on
His face and the affectionate touch of His hand, made me melt. That was that!
Looking at the young form, I forgot myself! No words came out of my mouth. All
this while His hand remained on my shoulder, and I continued to stand like a
stupid one. No words came out of my mouth. All the while He had kept His hand
on my shoulder and I had continued to stand there stupidly searching for Him.
Everyone there had a hearty laugh at my stultified looks, but I stood there
forgetting the whole world around me. Some sort of feeling made me numb, and I
could not think of anything. Bala Sai, with a smile, told me to have
Padanamaskar[1],
and I simply collapsed at His feet. The very touch of His feet made me cry
uncontrollably. Torrents of tears continued to flow, and with such tears I did
Padabishekam[2]. Though
minutes passed by, He did not withdraw His feet and stood there with leisure,
enjoying the show with the others. Not everyone would understand the
magnificence of the divine touch. Even those who had experienced this would not
be in position to explain! All the people might have had a good laugh at my
madness; the whole world might have thought anything about me, but I was in on
position to bother about them or even think of anything. All this was because
the feet I had touched were verily the feet of Lord Brahma. They were the feet
that bestowed salvation to Ahalya, the feet crowned by Bharatha, the feet
worshipped by Hanuman, the feet served by chaste Seetha, the feet that granted
redemption to King Bali. What would happen when such divine feet are touched?
The whole body shivered; all the strength seemed to have disappeared; all the
energy seemed to have flowed away, and I just could not get up. The most
compassionate Sai, the most considerate Baba, and the most knowledgeable
Sathyanarayana, sat next to worm-like me! I melted into His warm lap, and He consoled
me like a baby. I continued to cry like a hungry baby, and His touch made me gasp
for breath. Except for His shoulders, my watery eyes could not focus on
anything. Swami made me get up and took me into His room for more consolation.
I was gifted to feel the compassion of Bala Sai and to believe in His fully,
thereafter. Can anyone forget such moments!
I do not remember what happened in the room, but
both of us came out after some time. With shy looks I now saw the world around
me. I was stultified by the way I had behaved and managed to keep a smile on my
face. Swami told my mother, "Here is your son", as
if handing over her property back to her. That whole day I seemed to be
floating somewhere and was not my normal self. All of us joined for singing and
afterwards retired for the night. When Swami Vivekananda saw Ramakrishna
Paramahamsa for the first time, he looked quite ordinary for him. With just one
touch, that divinity was felt, and the blissful flow surged into him, said the
wise, the divine vision of the great souls, their divine talk and their divine
touch are due to their inexplicable grace, the wise stated. Succeeding to get
any of this, by force or by chance, shall not bestow any such experience
without their grace.
The next day, all of us joined together in the
main hall of the Old Mandir. I stood at a distance, near my family members. Bala
Sai beckoned my brother Amba and me, and made us sit close to Him. From that
day, it became our permanent place. Patting on my head, He placed His feet on
my thigh and from then on the service of pressing His feet was awarded to me. I
felt some sort of feeling surge in me, and at that young age of 14, Icould
not understand the turmoil that bubbled within me. But I had fully realised
that. this 19 year oldBala Sai was the embodiment of knowledge, and
there was nothing He did not know. My whole body was shivering, due to some
current that stirred within! Swami kept looking at my plight, but did not speak
anything. Those sacred days could never be forgotten, as this very birth was
blessed. We started. listening to His lovely small stories crammed with morals
up to the brim, and it played an important role in my life.
FIRST WQRDS
I could never forget these words of Swami, "No one can ever imagine the depth
of great souls. Their divine vision, talk and touch are granted to you, due to
the merit of many past births. When the right time approaches, I shall bring
them to Me from wherever they were. There are many who had seen the divine form
in its full glory, and they alone know the truth".
Bala Sai continued with a small story, "Some devotees started in search of
God. They did not have any idea how He looked or where He could be found? In
this regard, it is worth remembering what Prahalada[3]
said, 'Do not have the doubt that He is here and not there! Wherever you search
for Him, He shall be found!' God is all
pervading. Among the animals, dog is the most faithful,
and it can adapt itself with everyone, easily. One dog followed this
group of devotees. With a lot of soul-searching, they continued their
journey to find God. They faced a lot of difficulties on the way,
but they were determined. They met a noble being in a deep forest and
sought his help. He said that he was also in search of God and had been
doing penance for many years, but God had not showered His compassion! As he
was saying this, the dog came and sat in front of him. He suddenly got
up and bowed to the dog and said, 'Now you have granted me vision', with tears.
The dog disappeared and he felt blessed". Which divinity he saw in
the dog, no one could guess. If the divine grace was there, results, were sure
to follow. The way Bala Sai narrated this story, that sweet flow, I can never
express in any number of words. Thus, without much detail, I shall place before
you only some important features and extracts. Though these were small stories,
it was like a great discourse for me at that young age. From that time, I
thought of no other Guru or worshipped any other form:
I believed, with devotion, You as divine Lord.
By Your grace, gained knowledge.
Grant Your service, like shining stars.
Though Swami was close to me, He never talked
much with me. Once He asked my mane, as if He was not aware of it. I said
'Krishna Kumar'. With laughter, He said, "Oh!
Such a big name, when My name has only two alphabets 'Ba Ba'! I shall just call
you Murthy". This
was how Swami and all the inmates of the Ashram called me from then on. Bala
Sai's humour and naughty deeds were never small in number. But He never did
anything without some reason behind it.
[1]Padanamaskar: touching, bowing to the
feet of a Guru, Saints, elders, etc.
[2]Padabishekam: washing the feet with
humility and devotion.
[3]Prahalada: the son of demon
Hiranyakashayapa, being a great devotee of Lord Vishnu, the Lord granted him
protection by descending as Narasimha Avatar.
