Rare Spiritual Treasure: "Divine Games of Bala Sai" by V.R. Krishna Kumar
Excerpts shared for educational and spiritual purposes with reverence to the author. This project is a non-profit initiative, offered as a labor of love and selfless service.
Boothanatfadu
THE MASTER OF DEMONS
Our Bala Sai was the most compassionate Lord
towards everyone and also the Lord of the Ganas, the army of Lord Shiva. Thus,
being the master of demons, and His purpose was to ensure the welfare of all
the people, by establishing Dharma. Nothing could come His way! Though demons
could be harmful, but if we take shelter under Sai Natha, the Protector,
nothing could harm us. The present generation may not have any problems with
demons and may. not be even aware of such forces present in nature. But this
phenomenon was very much predominant during the Old Mandir days.
DURGAMMA OF BHEEMAVARAM
The demons and demonesses were of many
varieties. Once, a big group of people came from Bheemavaram in the state of
Andhra Pradesh. They used to sing the glory of the Lord by moving from place to
place with much devotion and love. They used to go around singing devotional
songs by the beating of sticks in tune with the Telugu folk art called
'Gobbillu' that was very much Liked by the villagers. They used to make a beautiful
presentation that attracted large crowds, and even Swami was impressed by their
performance. Hearing their at the Old Mandir, Swami clapped the Chitikelu[1]
- two wooden pieces fixed with small bells and thin steel plates-with beauty
and speed. The beauty with which the Chitikelu clamoured with the right
beat and danced around His tender fingers were never witnessed by them. It
would be needless to mention that the newcomers were carried away by His unlimited
ability. Surprisingly) on that day, even the old devotees were amazed by the
way Swami played the Chitikelu, and they had never seen Him play with
such speed. Instead of the usual one pair in each hand, Swami had held two
pairs in each hand, and doubled the speed. This troop of singers was well
managed by a lady called Durgamma and her husband.
Photo of Chitikelu that
was played by Swami.
The next day, when the troop started singing and
dance around beating their sticks, Swami suddenly questione Durgamma if they
could do the devil dance also? Though we did not understand what Swami meant,
we were sure there was a specific purpose behind it. These words made the couple
shiver, as they were aware that something was wrong with Durgarnma, for a long
time. We were informed later that she was suffering from some unknown illness,
and no treatment had brought any improvement in her. Actually, one spirit,
motivate by her singing and dancing, had possessed her. So, whenever she
started singing, this spirit got excited and started troubling her. This made
her restless and uncomfortable. It was clearly for this reason, Swami asked her
that question. When they asked Swami about this, He ridiculed, “Poor
thing! What can the devil do? It also has so much devotion"! They
stayed for nearly one week, and the day before their departure, Swami looked at
Durgamma in a peculiar manner. Though she was short, she was quite fat and
heavy. Even three people put together, would not have lifted her easily.
Whenever I think of this incident, it runs like a movie before me. Because it
was the first time I had witnessed anything like that. Durgamma gave out a big
shout, and our hearts literally stopped. But Swami remained calm, with a smile
dancing on His face.
Swami told me to bring some water, mixed with
some turmeric powder in it. When I was on the way to bring it, Durgamma just
missed pulling my foot. Swami scolded me for not being alert, and warned me to
be careful at such times. Swami sprinkled some turmeric water, and she seemed
to cool down. She said, "In that birth I did not have such fortune. Now that
I have this fortune, why should You trouble me"? This was being said by
the devil in her. The way Swami replied to this, I could never explain. He
consoled her as if she was a small baby, in such a sweet manner and soft words.
She gave her full identity and history to Swami. She confessed that she
possessed Durgamma, as she liked her singing and dancing. As this was not known
to her husband, he had spent a lot of money for her treatment, of some unknown
illness. Swami's words still ring in my ears like a big bell, "The time
for your redemption has come, so you have to leave now! Unwilling to leave Durgamma's
body, she challenged Swami arid adamantly remained.
The soft expression of Bala Sai' s face, the
Master of Demons, changed. The anger on His face reminded me of Rudra Shiva! He
turned red in the face like Kumkum. Maybe He had taken the form of Kalimatha, I
thought. Everyone was asked to leave the hall, but 1 was allowed to remain-
there, holding the bowl of turmeric water. When the water was being sprinkled
on her by Swami, her screams became louder and louder. Swami suddenly got up,
caught hold of her hair, and literally lifted her up from the ground. He made
her body to go round thrice, and bounced her on to the floor with a harsh thud.
Then He pulled out three strands of hair from the centre of her head and gave
it to me. He told me to make three knots of it and keep it safely. Leaving her
there, we went into the room for rest, as it was late in the night.
Early morning, as I got up Swami told me to tie
that knotted hair onto a tree, near Sathyamma temple, and I obeyed. Because of
the adamant devil, she had to face such torture for years and take this
beating. After this treatment Durgamma looked very much relaxed. Sai Deva
blessed the whole group and they happily left happily. It would be needless to
say that she remained normal thereafter. Though Swami was so thin, He had
lifted that fat lady with one hand. Where from did He get strength? This was
the clear revelation of His divinity and His powers! Driving away demons or
devils was a very tough and tedious task. At such times, we could clearly see
Swami as the Avatar of Lord Narasimha, a huge body with a ferocious lion's
face!
MUSLIM GIRL
A small family came from Hyderabad. Though they were
Muslims, they looked like Hindus. They had come to Penugonda, and after hearing about Swami, came to
Puttaparthi. They expressed that they started on this journey for peace of mind,
and the atmosphere in the Old Mandir was just ideal them. When they requested
Swami if they could stay for two days, with a compassionate smile He said, “This
is your house, be comfortable”. They were deeply impressed by Swami's simplicity,
as they did not find Him an imposing leader, insisting a lot of restrictions.
There was no question of any vain display or arrogance, but everyone was
affectionate and loving. There was no one to poke fun at them as they were new
to these customs. After two days, when they asked for Swami's permission to
leave, He joked, “What! You people do not like this place? Are you being
troubled by some devil here?” His comment surprised them, and they
looked at each other with astonishment. The father of the family spoke,
"We had visited so many places, without finding any solution to our
problems. Now You have opened our eyes, and there is no need for us to hide
anything. Though we had a beautiful daughter-in-law, we put her into a lot of
trouble as she did not come from a rich family and thus did not bring a big
dowry. Unable to keep-up with our demands and bear the torture, she committed
suicide. Due to our sins, a devil has entered my daughter. Whenever we get
ready to get her married, she acts strangely, and all our efforts fail. Due to
our fault, my daughter is suffering. In spite of spending much money, we have
failed". They fell at Swami's feet praying for a solution and begged for
His pardon. They also assured Him that they shall never repeat such a mistake.
Swami said, “When you were committing sins you did not think in this
manner because you people were influenced by Maya. Repenting for sins
committed, is one solution. Your deceased daughter-in-law's sisteris
still unmarried and facing a lot of hardships. If you get your son married to
her and solve their family problems that shall cleanse your sins. Respect her
and do not repeat such acts, ever again. Your daughter's marriage I shall take care of and see to it that she
shall be happy.”Saying this, He blessed the girl with a talisman. In
this way, He had different solutions for different people, in a variety of
ways. Thus, Bala Sai had various remedies that were most uncommon. We had never
heard of any other Avatar driving away demons like this. It was no easy task to
solve such family problems and also solve the issues of people who had not come
to Him, that too without their knowledge. Swami never waited for any personal
requests, and His aim was to solve issues, without bothering about His troubles
and efforts.
We would have nothing to fear in this world, if
we followed His principles. Divinity shall always be with you, if you had the
right mind-set and good heart. Though the heart always guides you in the
correct path, the ego would be the culprit that makes you deviate, into its
path. Swami advised that one should have firm determination to make the right
decisions, and never to hurt anyone in the process. The tears you shall bring
to others, shall multiply your sins, Swami had warned. These were the simple
lessons taught by Bala Sai in those days.
KERALA GIRL
Some devotees from Kerala, a state in South India
arrived. It was quite rare for people of this state to come to Puttaparthi, in
those days. Their language was little known to the local people here. As usual,
Swami occupied His chair and started having pan. When He cast some naughty
smiles, we were sure that something important was going to come up. Slowly,
Swami started, "Belief is
something important. The base
for this is love. It is necessary to be on guard with unknown people. But there
is nothing wrong in loving them. Only
after being fully satisfied, they may be believed upon". Swami,
while talking, was observing one particular girl in that group of Kerala
people. The girl's parents started talking in their language to Swami with
tears of sorrow. The local people, hearing their strange language, started
smiling. Observing this, they started talking in broken English and tried their
best to convey their thoughts to Swami. Was it necessary to explain anything to
Swami? But how would the newcomers realise this?
Swami suddenly moved towards the girl, and she
tried to get up. Just with His eyes, He conveyed to her to remain seated, and
she obeyed like a small child. Her parents were taken aback to see their unruly
daughter obey Swami's order. Our divine director pretended to speak to her. She
got annoyed at this and tried to do something foolish, but when she opened her
mouth, saliva fell on her clothes. She started shouting in their language and
complained that her body was burning. Swami continued to stare at her, as she
wriggled in pain. After some time she begged for His pardon and assured to
leave. Now we could understand that the girl was possessed and that the spirit
in her was talking to Swami. Swami moved His eyes sharply, as if conveying
something, and she seemed to beg for something. Suddenly, Swami became
compassionate and blessed her with Vibhuthi. Without knowing what was
happening, she fell unconscious. From the next day, she behaved in a normal manner
and started moving around freely. Without any torture, Swami got rid of the
devil in her. This was one of His methods.
Swami explained, in this regard, “Devil
does not have a body, and move around as spirit till such time the accrued Karma
exists. It tries to enter someone's body that it likes. For the Lord, both are
same, as He knows everything completely”. Though the spirit maybe
adamant, He tries to console it with affection, treating it like a child, with
sweet talk. But, if it does yield to His command in a good way, beating would
surely follow. Maybe, only when the time came, they would come to His fold.
There would be nothing in the world that does not yield to love, but patience
was very essential. Without patience, there would be no peace. Though the
process looked rough and difficult, the end result was always good. Without
difficulties, no happiness could be felt, and those who sought His help, were really
fortunate to be suitably rewarded.
OUR FAMILY
In spite of all these experiences, the worldly
thoughts, do play their role. Though I was at Swami's feet in His room, that
was so worthy beyond imagination, I had drifted into my own thoughts. As there
was nothing not known to Him, shot came His reply, “You fellow, why rake
your brains about your parents.” He was very true, and I was thinking
about my parents, as I had not seen them for a long time. “All of them
are coming this evening”,Swami informed in a casual
manner. That evening we reached Chitravathi, and after sometime, though it was
so late in the evening, my parents and family members were crossing the river.
As soon as they saw Swami, they came running like calves that had not seen the
cow, and Swami with. equal speed, ran towards them like a cow that had not seen
its calves for a long time. They fell at His feet, and He engulfed them in His
love, as if they were His little children. That moving sight was beyond any
description.
We all reached the Old Mandir with Bala Sai. He
came to our room and started enquiring about everything, our family affairs,
our schooling, our business, etc. Mother started crying, because was not well
on the home front, and Swami was constantly assuring her that she had nothing
to fear, as was with them. While we were there at Puttaparthi, Swami would talk
to us constantly, cut jokes, and make us laugh most of the time. Though
everyone there stayed like 'one family', human beings were human beings. Some of
them did envy our presence and closeness to Swami. My brother Amba and I would
spend most of the time in His room, and He would sometimes call us 'Jaya Vijayalu',
the gatekeepers of lord Vishnu. My. mother would be absolutely delighted as
Swami would relish all her preparations. When we went to Chitravathi in the
evening; we would carry Swami's requirements, and hand them over, whenever
asked for. Thus, we stayed close to Him all the while. We would compose many
songs, before going to Puttaparthi, and He would ask us to sing some specific
songs. Thus, we dominated in the singing sessions, also. With all this, the
usual grievance of others was, “If the Kuppam people come, Swami will not look
at us. He will also go behind them, and entrust all important tasks to them!”
Swami, the very form of love, would never bother about such things.
My sister Sarala was always busy with her
innovations: Paper cuttings, art clips, or garlands-she would always come out
with something novel. Even Swami's favourite pan would be offered to Him in
various shapes, and Swami would take great pleasure to show it to the people
around. Many a clay, He would call us aside and help us improve our
compositions, and also teach us how to sing better. All this would cause envy
and jealousy to some and they would literally wait for our departure. But
Sakammgaru would boost our enthusiasm, because Swami's happiness was her
happiness. My last sister, Prema was plump and chubby. Swami would love to make
her put some dance steps. When she moved her body lightly, without much bending
motions, He would heartily laugh with the others. Within no time, months would
have passed by. When the time came for us to leave, there was no dearth for
crying. It was customary for Swami to make us sing certain songs as we left,
and that make us cry even more. On that day, He would Himself perform Harathi
and bless us with Prasad. I was more fortunate, as I would stay back for some
more time. Many people would come with Swami up to Chitravathi, to bid farewell
and He would once again grant Padanamaskar to each one of us, wipe our tears
and bid farewell. He would waive His handkerchief till we went out of sight.
There was no limit for His grace and love. Now when we sit back and think of
those days, it looks like a dream. Those sweet moments shall never come back,
but those sweet memories can never be forgotten and shall remain ever green.
HEART BREAKING DEPARTURE
When I was happily spending my time in the divine
presence of Bala Sai, without any fear, or any kind of worry, suddenly my
parents came to my mind. I started wondering how they were, as I had not
received any letters from them for a while. I wanted to ask Swami about this,
and bang came the reply, before I could open my mouth, "It shall come tomorrow"! The next day, I waited for the expected
letter, and it did arrive. It was disheartening to note that all was not well
on the home front, and I was asked to come back. Swami casually looked at the
letter and asked me to leave for Kuppam the next day and went off into the
village. Though this was a simple statement, it pierced me like heart like a
sword and shattered my head like a hammer. I could not stop the tears that
flowed out. There was one small veranda
behind the Old Mandir, where you could get a lot of privacy. I reached that
place and sat down, crying. The more I thought about my departure, the more I cried.
I banged my head, wondering how I could live without my Swami. After some time,
I felt one hand over my shoulder, and it was Swami, standing like a mother who
had given birth to me! My cool Mother! I just grabbed His feet, and He consoled
me like a baby, as I washed His feet with my tears. When He was running His
loving fingers over my head and back, I continued to weep, resting in His warm
lap. “Hey! Murthy, why do you cry? One day or the other you had to leave.
For how long can you stay here? Don't you have the duty to look
after your parents? You have a life to lead!” When Swami was talking in
such a simple way, it made me angry, and I said, "Swami! You really want
me to go? Can I live without You"? You may not believe this, but it was
the truth. Swami's face became small, and His eyes were moist.
At that moment seeing the compassion on His face,
His concern, His love, His care, I preferred to lay down my life, tight there
and then. "Do you think I like to send you? How can I stay without you people"? Hearing Swami say this,
like a child holding its mother, I held Hirn tight and drowned fully in the
ocean of grief. How long this went on, I just cannot recall. When I opened my
eyes, Swami was looking at me with pity. Wiping away my tears, He said, "I
shall write a letter to your mother. Swami's grace is there in plenty and
they need not fear. I shall also tell them that you shall come after
some time". Hearing this, I laughed like a mad man and concluded that
I had a place in His heart. As assured by Him, He did write such a letter to my
mother.
Oh my god! Abig calamity had been evaded,
and I realised that Swami's love was as huge as the sky. This can never be
described to anyone, but those who had gone through this phase in life, would
surely understand. He is the Mother of the whole world, loving-hearted Sai
Mother, and anyone leaving such a Mother, was sure to break-drown in grief. Thinking
of Him as God, we presume that He would never lament. But this was not the
truth, as He would not like to see His loved ones in tears. Human beings
express their feelings easily, but the Universal Mother would keep it to
Herself. How much ever you partake His love, you would ask for more and never
get satiated. Such is the love of Mother Sai! Surely, I cannot deny that I was
fortunate to have won a place in Her heart. Like this, I stayed for more days and had the opportunity to serve Him. Now I have to tell you about the letters
He assured to write regularly.
[1]Chitikelu
are a traditional percussion instrument made of two rectangular blocks of wood.
They are designed to be held in one hand and clapped together to create a
sharp, rhythmic clicking sound. Each block usually has small metal jingles
(like those on a tambourine) embedded in slots. They produce a high-pitched,
metallic "clink" combined with the hollow "thud" of the
wood. You place your fingers through the holes or loops on the back of the wood
and use a snapping motion of the hand to bring the two pieces together.
SWAMI'S LETTERS
Swami's letter dated
09/08/1946:
The same Telugu letter written by Swami has been
shown here. Most of the letters written by Swami would reach us on Thursdays
and we used to eagerly wait for the postman on those days. Swami may have
selected Thursdays because it was considered as the most auspicious day, by His
devotees. The letters would contain each of our names and blessings to each one
of us in our family. His handwriting was like beautiful pearls, His description
like sweet porridge, His assurances instilled mighty courage, and while reading
tears were sure to flow. So much love and affection could never be shown by anyone
in the world. He would hug us with His beautiful words, as if we were small
babies. For us, He was a mountain-like God, with a small, sweet form. All of us
loved Him with devotion and complete belief. Maybe, this was what the wise
considered as totality. Actually, He would not bear the grief of His devotees and
would be hurt even more than them. Sometimes we would forget His divinity and
treat him like our friend. There must have been many connections, in many past births, and accumulation of
past merit, to have been so fortunate! The contents of Swami's letter, received
from Puttaparthi, I place before you, and after reading it, you would know, as
why I share this with you.
“To the loving devotee Krishna Kumar (my
full name),Kchi Kumar (tickling Kumar), Pichi Kumar (mad Kumar), respected
Baba writes this with blessings. (Can you imagine by how many names He would
call me).
Dear one, are you still at Kuppam? When
did you come? Are you all right? Do you remember me? I am Sai Baba of
Puttaparthi. Now you would remember me. Poor fellow! I am just joking
with you. What are your memories? What are you looking at? At all times, filled
in Atma, taking birth in Atma and residing in Atma, so, will I not know
my devotees? When this letter is read by Kumari (my unmarried sister), Amba
(my brother Amrendra Kumar), and the mother of the family they may get
angry with me! Till this date, for not having written such a letter to them,
they should be in envy. But everyone has a hand with five fingers, and wherever
it goes, all the five fingers shall follow, but not just one finger. In the
same way, when all the members of that house are my devotees, even when I shower
my grace on one devotee, it does belong to the whole family. Let this all go
by. When are you going to come? As there are no cars coming, I did
not want to trouble you, as they all decided to come from Mysore. Having come
to know that I shall visit your village on 22nd, they cancelled their
trip and decided to come for Shivarathri. Thus, no cars came here. In the
meantime, if someone comes by car, I shall come there in that car. Otherwise, whenever you people come, I
shall accompany you all. I am ready to come. Nagamani shall also come. My
blessings to Nagamuni (my brother-in-law Venkatamuni), Susheelamma (my cousin
sister), and their children, please convey.
Tell them I shall see them in person. Without forgetting them also, Iam
dancing in the heart.
This is for now.
With blessings. Baba.
Shortly inform your arrival.”
Can you see how jovial Swami could be? When I
was so keen to have His Darshan, straining my eyes, waiting with a heavy heart,
He coolly writes, if I had forgotten Him? This letter was written to me when He
had decided to visit our village Kuppam. When the Lord was ready to come to our
place, would we wait for someone else to bring Him by their car? Immediately,
Amba and I went to Puttaparthi to fetch Him to Kuppam. Swami came to Kuppam as
willed by Him. This was His second visit to Kuppam. I am yet to tell you about
His first visit to Kuppam.
Photo of Swami's letter in Telugu.
KUPPAM VISIT
After our first visit to Puttaparthi, we force
Swami to come to our village Kuppam, and the Loving Lord agreed. My eldest
cousin sister Susheelamma was also there. As she had seen Swami before us, she
put a condition that Swami should visit her house first, and we agreed
to this. The dates were also fixed, and we had to pick up Swami from
Sakammagaru's house at Bangalore, but He insisted that He would come by Himself.
One family member, of Susheelamma's family, and I waited at the junction,
nearly two kilometers away from Kuppam, to guide them to our village. Even at
10 o'clock in the night, Swami's car did not arrive, and the family member
of Susheelamma returned back to the village. I remained alone in the forest
junction, and after 8 PM not a soul would be seen in these areas, due to fear
of wild animals. At about 11 PM, a car came in that direction and took the
wrong turn going into the forest. I could somehow stop the car by flashing my
torch, and I was in absolute joy to see Swami wave out to me. He had brought
Sakammaguru, and Subbarajugaru with Him. They were surprised to see me standing
alone, in such an isolated spot. I got into the car, and we reached our house,
instead of going to Susheelamm's house, as planned earlier. We welcomed Him
with many garlands and Harathi. With all smiles, He enquired each one of us.
There was a huge vacant place next to our house,
so we arranged for His Darshan there. Many villagers, our school teachers,
schoolmates, had a good Darshan of Swami. All these years they had been joking
about Him and our frequent visits to Puttaparthi, but now after seeing Him,
they appreciated His divine form. This brought us much joy. That evening, when Swami
sang like a Nightingale, they were completely bowled over. There was no end to
our family members visiting Swami. Three days passed by like three minutes.
With a lot of tears, we bid farewell to Sai Prabhu, and He consoled us by
promising to come again soon and left for Bangalore. Once, when Swami was
talking, to our family at the Old Mandir, we had requested of Him that we
should ever remain close to Him. Swami joked with us, saying we had too much desires.
But, from then on, to this day, we remain as His children. This was due to His
grace, and, without His blessings, we would not have enjoyed His proximity. In
the era of Dwapara, if Lord Krishna granted close proximity to His friends, we
in this period of Kali, had the fortune to sing and dance with Sai Krishna. I
would firmly conclude that in any era, such love of Bala Sai had never been
felt.
FIGHT WITH SWAMI
Sometimes, Swami would be so busy, you would wonder
if His love had disappeared. He would be busy with the newcomers, their
arrangements, and their interviews. All we would get, at such times, were His
strict orders and sharp commands, in a stem voice would make us believe that He
would discard us. In those days, when you did not get His love and attention,
you were sure to get frantic. As He had not talked to me for the whole of that
day, I picked up a fight with Him when He was writing some letters: “Swami! You
are not giving me enough affection!” Without looking at me, He told me to pour
water into the tumblar, on His table. As I started pouring, He said, more and
more! Ultimately the tumblar was full, and the water spilled out onto the
table. Seeing this, He shouted, “Don't
you have sense? You buffalo! How could you pour more water, when the tumblar
was full?”I speedily wiped the place clean, without
understanding what He meant. Fearing that He would impose some punishment, I
fell at His feet and begged for pardon. "What?
Did you not understand, what I meant? I am fully in your heart, and you are
fully in My heart! Is this not affection? If I give more, it would be wasted like the water that flowed out. What has been
received should be perceived, without wastage. This is how
the wise would think", Swami fumed. Hearing this, the tears of
Ananda made me go out of control. He lifted me, wiped my tears and knuckled on
my head, saying, “At least now do you understand?”This
was how He dwelt with ignorant people.
SPEECHLESS SADHU
Once, while talking, Swami seemed to be in a
happy mood and was continuously having pan. This was a clear sign for us that
something important was going to happen. Swami informed us that something funny
would happen the next day. Unable to understand divine secrets, we waited for
that moment. The next day, two newcomers, one sadhu and his disciple, landed at
the Old Mandir. They were staunch followers of Mother Kali. The sadhu had a
huge beard, turmeric paste marks all over the face, red Kukkum marks on
the forehead, many garlands of Rudrakshas, mixed with strange beads,
round the neck, and all this made him look like a magician fakir. They had a
good bath at Chitravathi, before reaching the Mandir. The disciple praised the
sadhu for having built a temple and his powers to perform so many miracles.
But, none of us took any interest in his propaganda. Little did they know that
our little master could make people cry and console them, as if they were small
children. As they came towards Swami, He gave a strange smile! When the sadhu
offered a lemon to Swami, He just gestured to him to retain it and started
speaking in general.
“Powers does not have any form. Things that cannot be seen can be
felt. When air is pumped into a balloon, it takes the shape of the balloon,
though it is invisible and shapeless. Though air is invisible, it may be
fragrant or foul smelling. Similarly, the powers within the form remain
invisible. Those who do not perceive this, could be considered ignorant. Whatever
is born, has to perish, but the Atma is imperishable and permanent, residing in
various forms, from time to time. This is the cycle of birth and death of the
body. The divine great souls are covered by Maya, and those who see them, by winning
over Maya, could be considered as Yogis! To succeed in this, divine grace is
important. Divine grace could be achieved by remaining in constant thoughts of
the divine.” Suddenly the sadhu wanted to ask something but no words came out of
his mouth. When all his efforts to speak failed, fear took over him. Unable to
tolerate disgrace, he kept this to himself.
The next day, when all were seated, Swami asked
the sadhu what he wanted to express. With tears, flowing, he fell at Swami's
feet. Swami consoled him and asked him if he was in some trouble? Suddenly he
could speak, and this was known only to both of them. He started, saying,
"Please pardon me, as I have committed many mistakes, listening to
someone. My speech disappeared yesterday, and only when I fell at Your feet, it
has been regained. I was very proud of myself, and You have crushed it with
Your feet. Because of my ego, I lost my speech, and by Your touch, it has come
back! You really taught the right lessons for my ego. Now I can understand the
divine play of great beings. Please bless me"! I felt that he may have
tried to use his magic on Swami by offering Him a lemon, but he was caught in
the divine web. There were so many instances not known to the world, and I am
pleased to place before you what I had witnessed. Even when I try to put forth
only the essence of it, it has become a book of this size. Swami's grace and
love could never be evaluated, but those who experienced it were fortunate.
