"I will not remain here for much longer..."
The Prophetic Call of a New York Banker to the Heart of Puttaparthi
My Visit to
Puttaparthi 13th March – 4th June
2011
Account by Gitanjali as sent by her father Rajeev Sawhney
My name is Gitanjali
Sawhney. I was born in Bahrain, in the Gulf. For the past 15 years, I have been
living in the USA, where I completed my middle school and college. Later, I
started working and have since been employed at a bank in New York.
I was not a devotee
and knew very little about Sathya Sai Baba. My father has been a devotee since
1972 and currently lives in the ashram in Puttaparthi. I live with my mother
and brother in New York. All three of us are now US citizens.
It is very difficult
to grasp or explain what suddenly began to happen to me. In February 2009, I
saw Sathya Sai Baba when He came to my house in Jersey City, New York, where I
lived, and stood at the front door. My eyes were open and I saw Him. I could not
believe I was seeing someone at my door—I thought I was hallucinating. I told
my mother about it, but she didn’t quite know whether to believe it. In fact, I
didn’t believe it myself, so I didn’t expect her to believe what I saw.
In this way, Sathya
Sai Baba came to my door many times. I wondered if I was losing my mind. I
thought: why do I see Him, what game is my mind playing with me? And all the
while, I simply ignored Sai Baba. He never said anything, and I was happy about
that, because if He had said something, I think I would have really flipped
out.
On December 29, 2010,
I started hearing voices in my head. A voice said: "Come to Me, I am
waiting." Later, I kept hearing the same thing. I didn’t know what it
meant or what was happening to me because I didn’t recognize the voice. It
seemed like my mind was playing tricks on me, so I continued to ignore the
voice in my head.
One night, for the
first time, I dreamed of Sathya Sai Baba. He appeared in the dream and said:
"Come to Me, I am waiting." Then I finally understood that it was Sai
Baba who seemed to be calling me, but I still ignored what He said. I told my father
about this dream. My father, being a devotee of Sai Baba, told me it was a sign
and that He was clearly calling me for some reason, so I should take a leave of
absence and go spend some time with Him.
I had my doubts about
the whole matter; I wasn't convinced because I wasn't a devotee. I continued to
hear voices during the day—throughout January and February. In the office, I
couldn't focus on my work. It troubled me greatly because I couldn't finish my
daily routine tasks. Since I kept ignoring Sai Baba, finally, in February 2011,
He came again, and this time it was a truly extraordinary dream that shook me
immensely. In this dream, Sathya Sai Baba said: "Come to Me, My child.
I am waiting for you. I will not remain here for much longer."
I woke up frightened.
Maybe He really is God? He is telling me He won't stay here much longer. As
soon as I got up, I immediately called my father. He told me it was true that
Sathya Sai Baba’s health was not in the best state and it was quite possible He
would not stay much longer. By "not much longer," my dad meant a year
or two. After a few days, I had a third dream, which was again quite unusual.
In this dream, it was pitch dark and I was alone. I was by a wooden door,
sweeping and mopping a place I didn't know. I told my father about this vague
dream. However, this time something started pushing me to take action. So I
said to myself that it would be better if, before anything happened, I took a
leave and went to see Sai Baba. I applied for three months of unpaid leave. It
was granted immediately. I bought a ticket to Bangalore for March 13, 2011,
arriving on March 14. I asked my father if he could, if possible, arrange for
me to work as a volunteer in the ashram. Somehow, he managed it, and I was
admitted to the Sewa Dal from March 15, the very day after my arrival in
Puttaparthi.
I reported to the
Sewa Dal meeting place where tasks were assigned. To my surprise, I and three
other girls were assigned to service at Baba’s house—at the passageway.
The service was quite
exhausting: from 3:00 AM to 8:00 PM with breaks for lunch, tea, and dinner.
Serving in the Sewa Dal is a fantastic experience. The situation looked exactly
like in my dream, which I remember so vividly: I was sweeping and mopping in
the dark. I was shocked! How does this happen? How could I have seen my future
in a dream? My mind couldn't be playing such games with me.
In Puttaparthi, I had
many dreams. Swami came in them every day and blessed me. In one of them, I was
standing and saw flowers falling from the sky.
Every time I mopped
the floor near the wooden doors through which Sai Baba would come out, a flower
would fall at my feet. I always gave it to someone. One day, while I was
mopping there and a flower fell at my feet, I gave it to a Sewa Dal volunteer
who was standing nearby watching me. Suddenly, I heard a crash—the entire
decoration fell near my feet, and flowers were flying everywhere—just like in
my dream. Again, I was taken by surprise and was in shock! Was this reality? Or
was I dreaming?
For the first few
days, my father would walk me to Sai Baba’s house, but since it was at 3:00 AM,
my father was tired and one day he told me to go alone. I went outside, and on
the way, a black dog accompanied me step for step. The dog didn’t bark, didn’t
approach me, but walked beside me; I felt the presence of Sai Baba. He said:
"I am always here with you." This experience touched me to the core.
And again, I was confused! Is this really happening?
During the days I
served in the Sewa Dal, I had incredible darshans. I sat very close and every
time He looked at me. I only had eight such darshan days—from March 15 to 25,
2011. That last one was also His last darshan. Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba was
taken to the hospital on March 28. I was very lucky to have those eight
darshans!
During the funeral
ceremonies, I ran to sit at the front so I could see Him. I forgot to eat or
drink anything, and I didn’t want to move from there so as not to lose my spot.
I sat there for six hours before I realized I was hungry and thirsty. I longed
for something to drink, and then unexpectedly my father appeared with a glass
of water. I thought it was very strange! Later I said out loud: "I could
eat some biscuits." Five minutes after saying those words, a woman handed
me a whole packet of biscuits. I was shocked! What is happening here?! The
woman sitting next to me was even more shocked when I said out loud that I
wanted a packet of biscuits. I shared the biscuits with everyone around me and
ate them myself too, because I knew that if I didn’t eat, others wouldn't
either. In the end, two biscuits were left. I tried to give one to the woman
sitting behind me, but she replied: "No, it's for you—you eat it." I
thought it was strange that she said that. I ate one and put the other in my
bag to give to my father later. I felt Sai Baba's presence and knew He was
there and taking care of me.
One day I was reading
the book Living with the Himalayan Masters, which stated that criminals
are not actually criminals—circumstances make them criminals. After reading
this passage, I remembered a teacher from my college. I immediately sent him an
email. I wrote that I was in a certain ashram and while reading this book I
thought of him. The next day he wrote back that 25 years ago he was also at the
ashram and was reading the same book. He added that it was Sai Baba's ashram in
Puttaparthi. This made a big impression on me. He attached two photos: one of
Baba giving darshan, and another of my teacher at the ashram. He also asked for
my photos! As we know, taking photos in the ashram is not allowed and, of
course, I didn't have any photo of myself here. I asked my father if we could
somehow get some photos. Five days later, a man approached him with a CD
containing a photo of me doing seva near Baba’s house. Unbelievable!
I felt Baba's
presence everywhere. He told me once in a dream: "Seek Me, seek Me in
every soul, in every being. I am everywhere. But above all, seek Me within
yourself, which is where I reside."