Sathya Sai Parenting by Rita Bruce (Excerpts from the book)
GOOD "MIND MOVIES” (Chapter 14)
"Due to
advancements in the fields of science and technology, human values are lost and
minds have become polluted. On one hand, science has progressed; but on the
other hand, the sanctity of the senses has regressed. Man is happy seeing the
advancements of science and technology, but he does not realize how far he has
moved away from divinity." – Discourse, September 29, 1998, Sai Baba
If your son or daughter falls from a tree and breaks
his/her arm, you immediately take him/her to the doctor. But how do we repair
the thoughts and feelings of a child who has fallen from the tree of life and
has suffered a broken heart? Without the key how do we discover the cause that
is locked in the vault of their mind?
In the physical world it is easier to see the problem and
discover both the cause and solution. The mental and emotional "problem
world" is not as recognizable. It is more subtle, and therefore more
difficult to ascertain and correct in our child or teenager and even within
ourselves. How do we uncover and heal what is hidden?
"MIND MOVIES" is
the topic we are discussing. We mound the movies of our minds by the subject
matter that we allow to be projected on our inner film. Parents, we are creating
content in the minds of our child. How do we search into this mileage of film,
edit, cut, and slice out that troubled section of their mind that is
problematic, when we haven't seen, known, nor comforted, the inner cry that we
did not hear? We see only the negative behavior, not
the source or extent of the damage.
Sai Baba
says, "The good and bad that
you see and experience are the results of your own thoughts."–
SS May 1999 pg. 124
We take our money, gold and worthwhile possessions to the
bank for protection. We protect them from outsiders. The same common sense can
be applied to our children. We need to guard their minds, and their hearts,
their inner wealth. We are the bank of protection against broken hearts.
From their birth we have been their guardians even though
when they leave our home it is difficult to regulate them. By explaining to
them the process of mind movies, we can help them to become their own
guardians.
Sai Baba says, “The
senses exist and function in relation to the objective world. They produce
desires, impulses, feelings, emotions, etc. which go collectively to form the
mind.Based on the desires
and impulses, the mind builds an image or picture of oneself which forms the
ego. Thus, the mind and the ego depend upon the senses for their existence.
They feed continuously on the sensations produced by the senses."
The newest invention of this communication age is the
computer and internet. The same situation that we faced with that of
televisioi:1-, using them with unknown effect, is presenting itself with the
computer, internet, and video games. The invention is phenomenal. How could it
be harmful? There is a growing voice of concern.
Sai Baba
says, "Ignorance is on the
rise with the progress of Science. Truly speaking science has not matured. Man
has become senseless. All the trials and tribulations faced in this world are
due to the so-called development in science and technology. It is not technology
but it is 'tricknology'. Do not become a slave to such technology. Uphold truth
and righteousness. Cultivate love and experience divinity." – Divine Discourse, October 15, 1999
I quote from an article called "Do Computers Make Kids Smarter?" by Leslie Bennetts.'
“By the time my son was 3 years old, he was so obsessed
with the computer in his preschool classroom that I decided to get him one at
home. To my amazement, Nick's teacher was horrified. 'Don’t do it!' he
exclaimed. 'If you get Nicky a computer now, he'll become a hacker. He's very
drawn to this, and he'll spend all his time on the computer instead of learning
the things he's supposed to be learning at this age - not just basic
information, but social, physical, and interpersonal skills. Please, please hold
off.' 'How long?' I asked timidly.
'Wait as long as you can', the teacher said, and there
wasn't even the glimmer of a smile on his face.
"Such stern advice was the last thing I expected to
hear. The emphasis on technology has become so overwhelming that, like many
American parents, I feared I was depriving my child of a crucial tool because I
hadn't installed a computer in his room before he was out of diapers. In a lot
of households, watching toddlers develop proficiency with a mouse has replaced
the thrill of seeing them master their numbers and letters.
"The battle of the experts is ongoing.
Don Tapscott, the author of Growing Up Digital: The Rise of the Net Generation
(McGraw - Hill) says, "Children who have access to this new communications
medium will learn more effectively than those who don't. When kids are on-line,
they're reading, analyzing, evaluating, comparing their thoughts, telling their
stories, collaborating, innovating. The Web is becoming the repository of all
recorded knowledge."
"There is no doubt that the Web is a tremendous
instrument for accessing knowledge but even Tapscott admits that if the
computers are not used "Right", the consequences can be dismaying.
"Jane Healy, an educational psychologist and author
of Failure to Connect: How Computers Affect Our Children's Minds-for Better and
Worse (Simon & Schuster) says, "It is truly bizarre that parents and
educators have so easily bought into the industry's hype that working with
computers and software is going to make kids smarter and prepare them for the
future. I have great belief in the ultimate potential of this technology, but I
think it's being done all wrong.
"If the wrong software is used too much, it can
reduce a child's creativity and imagination. It can also shorten a child's
attention span. The child is paying attention not because he's managing his own
brain, but because it is being managed by him by the software. When he gets off
the computer and tries to solve a math’s problem, he's going to have to know
how to do it himself, without someone-seducing him through it.
"Children can have significant increase in IQ if
they use developmental software, but if they use drill-and-practice software;
they have significant losses in creativity," says Susan Haugland, a
Southeast Missouri State University child development expert who evaluates
computer programs.
"Theodore Roszak, the author of The Cult of
Information" A Neo-Luddite Treatise on High tech, Artificial Intelligence
and the True Art of thinking (University of California Press) say, 'Students
feel that information is all you need and it comes out of a computer. The fact
that there's a whole world of books in the library is vanishing. These kids are
under the impression that because there are a lot of eye-popping effects on the
computer, that's superior. But the World Wide Web is a mishmash of whatever anybody
wants to put up there, and what they often get is misinformation and incomplete
information.
'A kid with a pencil in her hand is ready to write, and a
kid with a computer is ready to begin a learning curve that starts with booting
up and virus checking and includes learning the interface, arranging the
desktop, fussing with screen savers, searching for misplaced files,
downloading, uploading, and deciphering error messages unless, of course, the
teacher does all that for the student and creates the illusion that it's easy
to do. What kids learn from using computers is how to use computers. That might
be valuable for people looking for jobs, but in school that's not the highest
priority. Teaching kids they need this machine to answer a question is
distancing them from the art of thinking.'"
An on-line survey of 615 families by Digital Research,
asked, "Do you spend time with or supervise your children while they
are on the computer? The results were: 35% supervise, 55% spend time, 10%
no." Family PC September 1999 pg. 62
The complexity of parenting is alarming. Supervision of
homework has been a parental responsibility, but now add to your list of
duties, learning a computer, software competence and internet censorship, etc.,
etc. In a day that is already overloaded with activities there is the
additional task of supervising computers, internet and video games.
Sai says, "Swami has nothing to do with internet.
Not only now, even in future also. You should not indulge in such wrong
activities. This 'disease' has its roots in cities and is spreading like wild
fire into villages polluting the village environment."– Divine Discourse, Dasara October
15,1999
The Internet is uncensored and your child can walk down
the internet highway into any vulgar room without you knowing. If you own a
computer with internet access, place it in the middle of the family room, or
someplace where it is exposed. Do not allow the child to use the computer in a
locked room, or behind closed doors. This is the safest way to monitor what the
child is doing. The curiosity of a child or teenager is natural, but do we want
our children to be exposed to all the scum in the world? The child will object,
but you are the authority in your home. I would tell my children, “This is
your mother and father's house, and as long as you stay in our house, no matter
how old you become, you follow our house rules.”
Swami says, "Some may appear very pious through
their words and deeds, but if you observe their behavior, it would be demonic
in reality. Do not have faith in such people and do not lose your purity."
– SS, April 1999 pg. 97
We wouldn't allow our children to enter unknown places
nor talk with strangers who have no face, no name, and maybe no character, who
could be satanic, mentally ill or criminally-minded. And now, your child or
teenager can walk into any chat room and communicate with anyone while in your
own home. It simply takes a few clicks on the mouse. How frightening to have
this type of tool in the hands of our innovative offspring. It is imperative
that you communicate your thoughts and feelings and why you will not allow them
to use this network without your approval. We need to teach them
discrimination, and it will take more effort on your part because you will need
to be informed in order to teach them.
Sai says, "Today man is wasting his youth by misusing his senses. He is
seeing and listening to unsacred things and indulging in talking ill of others.
In the early age, the five senses are like five delicacies. Your life will be
sanctified, only when you offer them to God. Otherwise, it would be better to
be deaf, dumb and blind! For what purpose are the eyes given to you? Is it to
see anything and everything? No. Eyes are given in order to see God. The eye,
which is not even an inch in size, is able to see the stars millions of miles
away. Such a powerful and sacred eye is being used for seeing unholy things?
Why don't you use your eyes for seeing the omnipresent God, the beautiful
panorama of Nature and having the Darshan of holy men?" – SS May
1999 pg. 131
I have stressed the negative aspects of the computer and
internet because they can be a dangerous tool in the hands of our children. We
all know the positive aspects, using computers and the internet for educational
and informative purposes. This type of usage is not creating a problem. I would
be seriously inconvenienced without the use of my computer to write, to e-mail
my friends, and to do research on the internet. I am an adult and I know
Swami's code of conduct. I will not visit internet sites that are "bad
company". But your children are not adults, so we must protect them
and teach them the power of good disclination.
Another concern of parents is the video games. "Childs Play" written by
Carolyn Jabs for the Family PC October 1999 Magazine says, "The debate
about violent games has become so polarized that it's difficult for parents to
find sensible, workable advice. And what expert guidelines we do get seem to be
about generic kids, as though what ·makes sense for an 8 - year old should also
apply to his 15 -year old brother. It's no wonder some parents react to violent
games with a 'not in my house' policy and others adopt a 'what can I do?'
shrug. Neither approach is helpful. It's impossible to insulate kids from popular
culture, yet parents who ignore the issue leave children without the moral
equipment they need to keep the violence in games from infecting their thinking
and behavior.
"Parents must come to terms with violent games,
because we want to nurture what's best in our children and assure their
emotional health, despite a culture that is increasingly preoccupied with
violent images.
"Psychologists still debate the effect of violence
on mature players, but they're nearly unanimousin their conclusion that young children can bedamaged byexposure toviolent media.'Actions
we observe and learn at a young age create a baseline on which we take all
future actions,' says Leonard Eron, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of
Michigan who has spent his career studying the effects of violent television.
Whatever we put into a child has enormous consequences."
Swami says, “I keep
telling the students often that the childhood of man is like a·tender banana
leaf. At this age, this 'banana leaf' is very pure, attractive and lively. This
'leaf' containing the delicacies of five senses (sound, touch, form, taste and
smell) should be offered to God. But due to the impact of Kali Age, man is
offering these five types of' delicacies' to the six demons: anger, lust,
greed, attachment, pride and jealousy. After the demons eat away the
'delicacies', spoiling the 'leaf' in the process, man is offering the leftover
unsacred food to God in old age. Is it proper to offer to God the remains of the food eaten by the demons? If
man cannot recognize the uniqueness of humanness, what is the use of taking the human birth?" – SS May 1999 pg. 131
We seem to have an obsession with violence in America.
The blame game continues, each segment of our culture points the accusing
finger at the other; meanwhile nothing changes. If they cannot find a cause,
then there is nothing to correct.
Swami wants us to see, hear and speak no evil, to protect
our senses and keep them pure. How can you have purity in your heart when
you're shooting others in a video game? I know some games seem more innocent
because instead of shooting people, they focus on destroying obstacles.
Nevertheless, you are still destroying what gets in your way. Understand if you
play video games from a young tender age, you are programming your mind's movie
to "take out" whatever gets in your way. In addition to violence,
they are teaching selfishness. Where
is the concern for others? You are destroying them. Most video games appeal to
a primitive level of survival and self-interest.
Sai Baba says, "Children
have no respect for Parents. They are selfish, selfish, selfish. Ask your
child? Where from did you come? How could you even exist if it were not for
your parents? The children today think I
- I - I. They have no fear of sin, no morality, no compassion, no
gratitude." –SSS # 9 pg.1
Where is the game that teaches us virtue and awards points for helping others, instead of points for
killing pregnant women? Yes, that is a
video game plot!
Many of our children from toddlers to teens cannot pass a
video game arcade without clamoring to be allowed inside.
What is this obsession? What is this thrill of killing
others? Is this our standard for entertainment? To reiterate, Dr. Eron said, "young
children can be damaged by exposure to violent media!" Our nation is
simply not getting the message. How much additional proof do we need? The
tragedy of yet more violence in our society?
Swami says, "Suppose you have pure 24-carat gold
with you. After some time, you add copper to it. Later you add silver to it and
then aluminum and brass. When new metals are added to the gold, its true nature
undergoes a change and. it loses its value. Today man also is undergoing such a
change. When he is a child, he is pure. As he associates himself with others,
he acquires violence and non-violence, righteousness and unrighteousness, truth
and untruth." –SS April1999 pg. 97
In a recent Family PC on-line poll of 732 families,
conducted by Digital Research, 31percent of the parents who responded don't
preview the games their children want to play. In the following section you
will find a list of the worst games, do not let your children play them until
you watch the game and decide.
THE WORST GAMES
"Violence has always been central to computer and
video games, says Brent de Waal, an avid gamer who
researched kids and video game play at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby,
British Columbia, That's probably because shooting and blowing things up is the
quickest way to get a player's undivided attention, if you don't kill it, it
kills you.
"Several factors make the current crop of violent
games more damaging. One is the first-person shooter point of view; games in
which a player looks over the barrel of a weapon create an intense
you-are-there experience. The games also have an astonishing, stomach-churning
realism which lets you see and hear the simulated agony of victims on screen.
Finally, there's a loss of moral context. Some games no longer even make a
pretense of good guy vs. bad guys; it's just shoot anything that moves.
"Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, the author of On Killing:
The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society (Little, Brown,
and Co.), says these features erode the innate human reluctance to hurt another
person. He points out that the military had trouble getting soldiers to fire
their weapons in combat; until they started to use training devices that
resemble video games. 'Data on the effectiveness of simulators is
overwhelming,' says Grossman_. 'And we're letting kids use murder simulators.'
"Here's
a short list of games many adults find disturbing:"
CARMAGEDDON -> DUKE
NUKEM 3D -> POSTAL
DIABLO -> HALF-LIFE -> QUAKE
DOOM -> KINGPIN' -> RESIDENT EVIL
Source FAMILYPC Magazine October1999 "Childs Play" by Carolyn Jabs
Swami has spoken to us many times on the issue of keeping
good company.
For years we have identified His quotes with peer
association for our children. Today, with the television, internet, video games
etc., 'bad company' has augmented to include machines with a violent
fear – driven message.
Recently, our beloved Sai has heightened and expanded our
awareness by the following quote on "Bad Company."
It is far easier to control their playmates and
activities while the children are young but when they leave your domain as
teens, most parents experience a sinking feeling. I know this feeling very
well. The mind worries and dredges up every conceivable horror. This is the
time that parents must trust in the devotion, duty and discipline that you have
taught your children, and realize that Swami is protecting and helping them.
Pray to Him and surround your child with His divine white light.
I have seen Swami protect my children in ways that I
could never have done. Only God could intervene. We plant the seedling with
love and support the plant with a rod of discipline till it grows to maturity
and bears fruit… the fruit of listening to their own conscience and loving God.
Sai Baba says, "Man
today is proceeding on the wrong path. You need not follow anybody. You should
follow your conscience, which is your master. Follow the Master; Face the
devil; Fight to the end; Finish the game. Your duty is to follow the four F's.
Since you respect and follow the words of those who have disharmony in their
thought, words and deed, you tend to forget your Swami, your true Self. This
situation is of your own making. Follow your conscience."–
SS April 1999 pg. 97
