Sathya Sai Parenting by Rita Bruce (Excerpts from the book)

GOD'S CHILDREN OR OURS?  (chapter 1)

My husband, my wife, my children, who is this MY? asks Sai Baba. How easy it is to claim ownership. From the moment that we see the creation of our child, we forget that it is God's child. The attachment begins. We commence with who does the child look like? Oh! The eyes look like the father's, and the mouth looks like the mother's and the hair is grandmother's etc. It is glorious to see this child of "ours", and immediately we start admiring OUR creation.

As the days progress, the child becomes more and more our extension. It becomes our center of attention, in every waking moment. Every person that enters a room where a baby is present, stops, turns, admires and is secretly enchanted. A mere infant can cast a captivating spell. As a mother I have often felt this with reverence.

While the days, months and years grow, so does the attachment. The distinction between "God's" or "my" child becomes steadily blurred. In our blindness, we forget the reality of who is the parent? We or God?

Sai offers an alternative: "Parents must feel that they are servants appointed by the Lord to tend the little souls that are born in their households, as the gardener tends the trees in the garden of the Master.” – SSS 1 pg. 70

From the time that a child is born, their physical well-being rests in their parents' hands. They are depending on you for their food, warmth, safety, cleanliness, etc. How fragile is their existence without someone watching over them continuously. We are all aware that Godand His guardian angels watch over our children, but we are the physical guardians that God has selected to foster and care for His child.

Sai says, "First and foremost, you should show gratitude to your parents, love them and respect them. Your blood, your food, your head, your money are all the gifts of your parents. You do not receive these gifts directly from God. All that is related to God is only indirect experience. It is only the parents who you can see directly and experience their love. So, consider your parents as God." – SS June 1999 pg. 141

We are the foster parents of God’s children. We simply are playing a role, not a simple role but an extremely valuable one. But, if we confuse ourselves ·with the attitude of "ownership" we may lose sight of the purpose for which the child was given.

Swami says, "Parents have the primary responsibility to mold the character of their children."

We become so attached to our children that we find it sometimes impossible to mold their character. We would rather be their friend. It's nicer and often easier to be their friend. They will like us if we are their friend. It's much more difficult to be their parent. They don't like us when we tell them what to do. We can identify with this because we don't like to be told what to do. We cannot confuse this issue. The rules are distinctively different for children. They need to be told what to do because for the time being, you are their conscience. Theirs is not developed as yet.

Our children want us to take care of them and provide for their every need, but more than that today, they want us to• provide for their every desire. This is acceptable to them, but they find it unacceptable when you are correcting their behavior. They want you to be their parents when you are providing for their physical needs and desires, but they do not want you to be their parents when it becomes necessary to correct their behavior. They want to be spoiled, pampered, have their own way. Just don't tell them what to do! The question to be asked is, "Who is controlling who?"

And this is the problem that we as patents are confronted with more often than we would like to admit. We know what is best for them, but they do not want to hear it. Therefore, conflict ensues, and as you know this can start at a very early age. The young toddler who wants to walk on a table, or jump on the bed, or eat sweets before dinner, or throw food in the air rebels at an early age.

Sai says, "The parents themselves are not competent to guide the children; they dote on them and do not know how to correct them, they themselves have reprehensible habits and ways of life." – SSS #9 pg. 1

God is our Parent; He is the Conscience within, and we as foster parents assume the same role for our children. God has entrusted this human soul into our hands for us to love, cherish, and discipline. Character development is difficult, because your conscience must be your child's until theirs is strongly established.

How many times have we noticed the amount of time that our dear Swami spends with His students? And how many times have we heard Him speak about our children being the future leaders of the world? The souls that Sai Baba gives to devotees are highly evolved souls who need the stronger will of a mature parent. These souls are extremely aware and forceful. They can easily go astray without the strong guidance and tough love of confident loving parents.

When we examine the small number of people who presently know that God is on earth, compared to the population of the world, the ratio is daunting; there are so few. It is only common sense to reason that the souls gifted to devotees are very old souls. Sai Baba is counting on us to empower His values into their character, because they will need this strength to help him in His divine mission. Are we failing Him?

Swami says, "If man cannot recognize the uniqueness of humanness, what is the use of taking the human birth? Among all beings, human birth is the rarest and noblest. Having got such a sacred human birth, man should turn his senses Godward from his early age."– SS May 1999 pg. 131

In this life, God incarnate has taught us Truth; let us share this Wisdom with our children. We, as parents, do not have to stumble in the darkness of ignorance. We can instruct our children with Swami's teaching on Right Conduct. We need not hesitate about what is the correct method to nurture spirituality in our children. His teachings and example are quite clear. Sai-chology is the best form of psychology. We can instruct our children with Sai's formula of chanting God's Name and visualizing His Form, as well as, meditating on the Light, to bring Peace into their little hearts and minds. This awakens the quietness of inner life. We can instruct our children through our example as does Swami, demonstrating the ultimate gift of selfless love. Not only do we need to instruct our children, but it is extremely important that they are exposed to the same teachings from another source.

Our children need to attend Sai Spiritual Education classes. Many times, they will listen and more readily accept from someone other than yourself. The Sai Spiritual Education teachers as well as Education in Human Values teachers are trained to help your child understand Sai Baba's Values: Truth, Right Conduct, Peace, Non-Violence and Love. When the parents practice and enforce these values in their home, in addition to classroom instruction, a dynamic imprint is made on your child. Most parents are not following Swami's rules for children, and the Sai Spiritual Education Classes are not getting results. The teachers can only teach, the parents need to enforce the rules.

Sai Baba says, "The atmosphere in the home should be such that it should nourish and develop the values inculcated in the child during Sai Spiritual Education classes. Parental co-operation and encouragement are vital for the program to be effective. So often you can see the difference in a child whose parent is actively involved with the program. This interest should be encouraged by the SSE teachers, by bringing parents into the program from the very early stages and using their skills to further enhance the children's potential. Children learn a great deal by observing and copying what their parents do. Thus, it makes it imperative for parents to plant the right ideals in the minds of their children, by the example of their own conduct."SS January 1994 pg. 24

When else in the history of mankind have parents ever had access to a more loving, wise, inspiring example, of divinity than Sri Sathya Sai Baba, to teach them how to "mold the character" of another soul? What a Blessing. It is essential for us to view parenting from this higher level of consciousness and take our responsibility seriously.

Certainly, we can recognize the uniqueness of Swami's birth; God is on earth. How often does God Incarnate on earth, and how often in our past have we had the opportunity to be here with Him?

Sai Baba told Dr. Hislop that if a soul walks away from Swami, it will take eon upon eon before that soul takes birth again. The chance of this soul coming again while God is on earth is extremely remote. These souls, our children, need to have spiritually powerful parents. They will be the soldiers of morality that will fight the battle of good against evil. Their spiritual strength is needed to push during the labor of Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Non-violence and Love on earth, the birth of The Golden Age.

In summary, if we clarify the issue that this is not our child but God's, it might be easier to accept Swami's teaching in the following pages on what needs to be accomplished to bring this child closer to God, and therefore more spiritually evolved than when this soul arrived in our care. It is extremely important for all of us to understand the enormity of the work at hand. The question is:

“God has given us a jewel; do we want to give it back to Him Tarnished or Illuminated?"